Meadow of Peace (meadowofpeace) wrote,
Meadow of Peace

Medical Rant - TMI, Proceed With Caution.

I am so sick and tired of being this way. I make plans to heal (or to JUST STAY AWAKE) and they all go to pot. I know I need rest. I know it's vital that my right breast heals (in both places), but can't I have a little fun? My body won't allow me to STOP thinking about the damn wrappings and soreness for more than five minutes!

At least my fever is staying down. That is a comforting thing and I pray to God that I won't have to have ANOTHER surgery so soon (two surgeries in two months IS ENOUGH).

I'm just...mentally exhausted and physically strained. Food goes down funny - even drinking something as simple as water sometimes upsets my stomach. I managed a decent meal last night at dinner (probably the first IN MONTHS) and my stomach burned and ached for most of the night.

Tomorrow afternoon, I get to look forward to hearing the results of what he pulled out of my right breast on Friday. Yes. You read right. He stabbed my right breast with an inch long needle five times and drained a ton of STUFF (dead fat, dead blood and pus). Add on the open wound I ALREADY HAD from the original Necrosis and that side is a mess.

Out of all of it, I am thankful someone somewhere discovered the healing properties (and regenerating properties) of pig bladder. It has closed the wound significantly and I hope to see more progress on Monday (since all of it stayed put this time).

I am also thankful (sort of) that I've lost over thirty pounds because of all of this. I just wish I wasn't so scared of food now. 8|

This song keeps fitting my life. I wish it would stop.

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